Butchery aside, I have committed to try the Paleo diet and see how I fare as a vegan who is actively training to be a stronger weightlifter. It's not perfectly Paleo, I admit, but it's as close as I can get. I'm following all the rules except the one about soybeans. In fact, I have committed to reducing my major sources of protein to only soybeans so that I am only breaking one rule, keeping me as close to an authentic Paleo diet as possible under my circumstances. Think of it as roughly comparable to the guy who keeps a Paleo diet but refuses to give up the nightly beer or two. Except I'm not a guy. And I don't drink beer.

What I am is a person who is really effing sick of people telling me that I will not thrive on a vegan diet. For the past decade, I've managed to not only stay alive and healthy, but perform athletic feats that my friends think are insane. I'm the girl who gets asked to flex her biceps at parties. Yet, I'm unsatisfied. I want to be leaner. I want to be able to speak knowledgeably about the diet to clients, both veg*n and omnivore. Most of all, I'd really like to shock the hell out of people by making major strength gains on a vegan Paleo diet.

So for the next two months, 6 days a week, I'll be eating Paleo. I'm allowing myself a once-a-week cheat day, but I hope to not stray too far. My husband (also vegan) has agreed to get in on the action for two months. I'd like to say he agreed graciously, but the fact is, he was dragged kicking and screaming into this. I'm doing my best to keep meals exciting and non-repetitive to stop him from killing me in my sleep. Here are a few recipes we've enjoyed over the past few days.

Cauliflower and Roasted Parsnip Mash

This mash is creamy thanks to the coconut milk, and dreamy thanks to the parsnips.

• 4-6 skinny parsnips
• Medium sized head of cauliflower
• 4 tablespoons of coconut milk
• 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

Peel and cut parsnips into small strips. Toss in olive oil. Lay on a baking sheet and roast at 400°F for 20 minutes.

Cut cauliflower into florets and steam until tender.

Combine parsnips, cauliflower, and coconut milk in a food processor and blend until smooth. You can add more or less coconut milk until you achieve your desired consistency.

Makes enough mash for 2 - 4 people.

Almost Paleo Chocolate Pistachio Truffles

I'm not a date fan, but these little balls of awesome won me over. Divine

• 3/4 cup medjool dates, pits removed
• 1/4 cup Rumi's Sesame Pistachio Hempspread (available here)
• 2 tablespoons raw cacao powder
• 2 tablespoons coconut milk

Throw everything into a food processor, blend until mixed well. Roll with your hands into tiny balls and refrigerate until firm. You could also roll these in the raw cacao or desiccated coconut.

The "almost" is because the Rumi's product contains agave.

Makes about 12 truffles.

Almost Paleo Chocolate Almond Goo

This decadent concoction tastes a lot like brownie batter. You can add more tofu to make pudding, or less to make truffles.

• 3/4 cup medjool dates
• 4 tablespoons firm silken tofu
• 3 tablespoons raw cacao powder
• 2 tablespoons coconut milk
• 2 tablespoons smooth ground almond butter
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Blend all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. You may have to scrape down the sides with a spatula several times. Spoon into tiny jars and refrigerate.

The "almost" here is due to the tofu and possibly the vanilla, but I do have to mention that the vanilla extract I used was handmade by a very crafty friend!

Makes about 6 tiny jars.

Just two short months ago I was gearing up to train for the Crossfit Games sectionals. But a funny thing happened; I found myself attending my twice-weekly weightlifting classes religiously, while my Crossfit participation dropped right off the radar.

Sectionals fell by the wayside, and I arranged to take the USA Weightlifting level 1 coach certification with Jenny (also known as the Werbanator, Werbasaurus Rex, or Werbie Goes Bananas). We earned our certification, and, thanks to her excellent technique, she was drafted to California Strength's club team. We started taking a private lesson once a week with Diane Fu at San Francisco Crossfit. All of this came in handy when I spent last weekend at Crossfit Balboa talking Coach Burgener's Olympic lifting certification.

We started with Coach letting us know what was expected of us. When asked if we understand him, we were to answer loudly and in unison, "YES COACH!". Every time he said burpees, the call back was "YAY, BURPEES!" and woe betide us if we did not answer on time or with the correct enthusiasm. Finally, we were always to wait for a signal to let the bar down from overhead, an instruction which many had problems with, earning us many burpees ("YAY, BURPEES!") which were to be performed to Coach's exacting standards.

Now, I have no experience in doing what I'm told. I was an extremely wilful child and I even refuse to om in yoga class. Steve refers to my attitude as if it were a separate entity. But Coach B explained that he was using a technique that helps to control large classes of people, making sure that everyone knows what to do, that they're paying attention, thereby preventing injury through confusion or carelessness. This explanation, coupled with his warmth, charm, and obvious joy in teaching, had me calling back at the top of my lungs along with everybody else.

We ran through some warmup drills, high knees, butt kicks, the usual, and then we were introduced to some fun jumping & crawling partner drills. Then it was on to the Burgener warmup, which Coach explained by breaking down the reasons for each piece, and advising us to use it before every workout. "Speed through the middle!" was the catchcry of these drills. We moved on to skill transfer exercises, and then split into partners to practise teaching each other what we'd just learned.

That day we worked solely on the Snatch. Coach prefers to teach it before moving on to the Clean & Jerk; in his experience once you teach the Snatch the Clean follows right behind, after learning the front squat. We spent much of the day broken into groups, practising the Snatch and learning from Coach and his team. We tried to spot problems and give simple, consise advice for improvement. Lifters can't process lengthy corrections when they're in the heat of battle, according to Coach Takano, so the trick is to find a single word or phrase to provide feedback.

The next day started with more running and jumping drills, the Burgener warmup, and a run through of the skill transfer exercises. Again we broke into pairs and practised coaching through the warmup and skill transfer exercises. But our focus was now the Clean & Jerk. "Stance, grip, and positions!" was drilled into us as we checked our fellow attendees to make sure they started in their jumping stance, landed in their recieving stance, and used the hook grip when appropriate. We tried to hit all the positions that Coach had taught us: mid shin to knee, knee to mid-thigh, mid-thigh to pockets and then the all-important speed through the middle! while we harnessed the power of the triple extension and then pulled ourselves under that bar.

Everyone had a turn coaching someone else, and in the end we were piling weights on and trying out our newfound skills with more than just the PVC pipe. The vast majority of us were young and strong, regular Crossfitters with no significant injuries, but we all learned how to advance an older or deconditioned client from PVC to PVC filled with sand, to rebar, to bar.

If you're thinking of taking this cert, I highly recommend registering for one that Coach Burgener is in charge of - and if you do, for the love of tofu, don't be the guy who lowers the bar before Coach tells you to, unless you really mean it when you say "YAY, BURPEES!".

As for me, I won't be competing in sectionals. But I will be working on my Snatch, Clean, and Jerk.

I've had a pretty disastrous holiday season from my body's perspective: chocolate, pizza, booze, and barely any protein or water, coupled with a complete absence of Crossfit workouts. I have been lifting weights and doing gymnastics, but there have been no sprints, rows, wall balls, burpees, or double unders. The only thing I have been doing regularly is taking my B12, glucosamine + MSM, and creatine. There's only one way to get back on track and not embarrass myself completely at Sectionals:

Eat like a saint, and work harder than I've ever worked before.

I'll keep you updated on my progress.

At the last Crossfit box I attended, dropping weights would result in a penalty of 50 burpees. At Crossfit Marin in Corte Madera, CA, swearing will cost you 50 pushups. It's not that the founders, Roger Harrell and Andreas De La Rosa, are prudes. It's that you'll often find the gym filled with kids.

Jenny and I showed up for our first class knowing that we were in for a gymnastics-heavy Crossfit workout. Roger was once Crossfit's gymnastics SME (Subject Matter Expert), having 20+ years of experience in gymnastics and 15+ in coaching. Even before the WOD began it was clear that this box prizes agility as highly as strength.

Andreas led us through a warmup which had us running on all fours, leaping like frogs, and jumping sideways over a box, like action heroes over a car hood. We performed a variant of the hollow rock called the candlestick rock, where you finish your rock by standing up and jumping in the air with an overhead clap like a burpee.

The WOD included handstand pushups, just not the kind we were used to. We performed the HSPUs on paralettes, not against a wall. This enables a wider range of motion, allowing the head to dip below the hands. Our elbows were to keep close to our bodies, not bow out. We were constantly coached to keep our bodies in the hollow position, making sure our pushups were straight up and down, not travelling in an arc. Both Jenny and I were confident in our hands-to-floor handstand pushup—mine modified with a kip at the bottom—but using Crossfit Marin's style, both of us were forced to scale with our knees on a box. It was gruelling, and we were hooked.

We decided that for our next visit, we'd try the adult gymnastics class. I'd had acrobatics training at San Francisco's Circus Center and had competed in New Zealand's gymnastics circuit as a child, so I knew what I was in for. Jenny has a trapeze and martial arts background, but she'd never so much as cartwheeled before, so understandably she was a little nervous before we began.

We ran through a warmup and then split into gendered groups. The men tackled rings and pommel horse with Roger, while the women focused on beam and floor with Russ Bruel, Crossfit Marin's other gymnastics coach. This segregation might seem odd to those not familiar with gymnastics, but in fact the sport is almost completely different for men and women. Only two apparatuses are shared: floor and vault. In competition, women work the uneven bars and beam while the men compete on rings, parallel bars, pommel horse and high bar.

As adults, we have no such limitations. We were free to join the men's group if we preferred, but as first timers we felt it was wise to keep to the smaller groups and the more beginner-friendly floor and beam.

It was hard to wipe the grins off our faces as we practised handstands and cartwheels on a chalk line, getting us accustomed to the constraints of the balance beam. This was fun. This was play. We pranced up and down the beam on our toes, experimenting with little jumps and turns. Moving to floor, we practised handstand forward rolls, backwards rolls to handstand, cartwheels, roundoffs, and back handsprings. We watched in awe as a woman in her thirties, who had been attending classes for three years, performed a roundoff back-handspring back-tuck.

Remember Jenny, who had never cartwheeled before? She did five back handsprings. Granted, they were heavily spotted, and she has an uncommonly high level of body awareness, but it's incredibly satisfying to have coaches who can spot even complete beginners on complicated moves. I just about burst with excitement when Russ promised to teach me to string together my roundoff and back handspring.

It will be hard to rip myself away from gymnastics classes long enough to take a dedicated parkour class with Andreas, but he promises it is even more fun. Suddenly I see myself making the 45 minute trip from San Francisco to Corte Madera far more often than I had bargained for.